Its a wonder...

I found myself being praised at work yesterday by my boss through an email that involved 2 main managers of the company on the cc. It came at a time where I was swamped with work and had had it up to here with everyone demanding and demanding things from me. I felt overwhelmed and at that particular moment so down...wasnt sure if all the hardwork I was doing was satisfying my client or not because I wasnt necessaryly sensing it in the tone of the emails or phone calls. So just felt like I was putting in so much effort, and losing sleep for maybe no real reason. Reading that email, even though it had praise that they had told me vocally already, just lifted my spirits. I just went "wow, its a wonder how simple nice words can make ME switch moods". And I really am like that...so easily made happy. Its a blessing yet also a curse because when I am down, and find noone to cheer me up, I get sooo dissappointed coz I know how damn easy it is to get me smiling! For the last 2 days, I have had nightmares in my sleep coz I am so tense from all the work I have to do. But I managed to leave work relatively early, so met up with 3 good friends and wow did that lift my spirits. A warm hug from one of them just melted my stress away. The sense that they are my friends, people I trust, people who's company I enjoy, just made me *sigh* very at peace in the midst of a very war-like zone at work. It just made me think...its such a blessing to be able to feel good because of such small gestures of love from other people...and maybe when you just smile, you can give a person that warm fuzzy feeling that just might make everything ok. Dont underestimate the power of a giggle, a warm hand shake, a sweet embrace,or a cute eye contact. You just may make someone's day :)

Are the 20s your hardest years?

I was so used to hearing "oh the 20s, I wish I could relive them again, they were the best years of my life". You hear it from your parents, the movies, and you just assume its true because its when you had the most freedom, and the most energy. You assume that after you hit 30 you'd be married, with children, and pretty set in your career so no real room for energy, craziness, and the like. So the 20s must be the best! No studying, no commitments, and a job is just something that pays you enough to maintain a decent social life. It sounds like heaven. But lately, and it started with an interview with Gwenyth Paltrow that I watched 2 years ago, it seems people are scared of the 20s and would never go back to those years. "Go back to when I had no clue who I was! To where I was so confused about who I wanted to be, who I should be, who the people around me wanted me to be! No way would I go back there!" And its actually very true. In our 20s all we do is think think think. Where do I go from here? What job would suit me? But if I take this job opportunity now, what does it mean for my future career choices? Should I do my masters now? But in what? Is that really what interests me? Should I love this person? Enough to marry him/her? What is marriage to me? Can I make such long term committments now? But I'm too young! No I'm not, I'm freaking 20 something! And it just goes on and on. I saw Gwneyth Paltrow talk about hitting 30 and being so happy within her skin that she really would never go back to her 20s. When she was asked "dont u wanna stay in your 20s?" here answer was such a shocking NO that I was taken by surprise. This was the first person I had seen saying such an insistent NO to going back to when she was young. Later more followed though, with the same big NO. I am turning 25 very soon, and I can surely say that yes, I probably wouldnt want to relive the confusion of these past 2 years again if I was sure that when I hit 30 I would have resolved all the pending questions in my mind. If by 30 I knew who I was and what I wanted out of life, I would never want to live the confusion of today again. But I just hope I still have some energy left to still be able to enjoy life past my 20s, and I would like to believe more and more that life does not end at 30!

Work work work

My life these days has been filled with just my job and everything related to it. I was handing over an old client as well as learning about a new client, plus handling the load as a team consisting of me, myself and I since my boss was off getting married. So I must say its been a tremendous load but it has been such a blessing as well. I managed to learn alot about what I can do on my own, what I can accomplish when I am the only one held responsible for something; you'd be surprised at how many chains are added to you when you have a team sometimes. I take faster decisions now but only I am held responsible for them and their results as well (whether good or bad). I learnt alot about what makes me lose control and makes me end up reacting rather than being proactive. When I have time I manage to do a much better job, so I found myself regaining control over the whole situation just so I could MAKE time for myself! I also found myself going to work early willingly just for me to have the peace of an empty office and the luxury of getting organized before the waves of phone calls and demands came in. This opportunity (its good to consider this stressful situation an opportunity) has put me in direct contact with the MD which meant I could learn so much from her directly. Its amazing seeing someone who is in such a strong position be so optimistic and supportive all the time. She's amazing in that regard! It helped me regain my belief in being optimistic again; here was someone who managed to leave her door open to everyone at the agency who ever needed anything, who stays late hours, who handles all big issues in a politically correct way, and can still at the end of the day smile! Its nice for a change to see someone prove to me that its possible to be optimistic and supportive as well as a leader. Plus, I've managed to learn how to count on myself to pick myself up and move on; to fall from an overload but snap out of it, grab control by force, and just move on. I used to always need someone else's support for this, and at this time I didnt have the time to get this so had to supply it for myself. That was definately a good skill for me to acquire. The list just goes on and on. There is a bad side to all this as well though; I cant get sick coz noone else can take my place, I cant be at two places at the same time (cant be at a meeting as well as in the studio for example), I cant be sure when I'll leave the office coz noone can cover for me at any time and work accumulates when you are on your own, plus you cant be as organized as you want due to the lack of time to do proper filing and minutes writing! But here we are, learning as much as we can, and trying to rest when we can as well! I guess I am getting into total career-driven mode which I had stayed so long not wanting but now dont mind so much :)