Parenting Classes

After having long discussions with a few friends yesterday, last week, and semi-listening to Dr. Phil as my mum was watching him today, I came to realize that we could argue, discuss, and fight all day about how to be good husbands/wives, or good parents, and still get nowhere. Why get nowhere? Coz being good partners or parents is not something you are taught as you do History, Maths, or what not. None of us took parenting classes in school nor in university nor are we programmed to think that we'd need such a thing. But in actuality, we ALL are scared of marriage and of being parents because its such a huge responsibility; its unfamiliar ground where alot is expected of you and we expect alot from others and just are not sure if these are the right things to expect or not. Sometimes we know exactly what we want to teach our kids but have no clue HOW to teach it to them. We all worry about turning into our own parents, but again have only them to learn from. How come parenting classes dont exist? Something as important as developing the citizens of the future should be put into a classroom! You are not just born with the skills to be a good wife or good mother, you develop it, and learn it whether from imitating your own mother or others...but dont you wish you could have taken some sort of class on it? A class where you got to be tested on your knowledge of such a thing? I know I would definately feel more confident knowing I got an A in a parenting class before having my first baby! It may seem silly but its true...I want a child whom I can protect without choking, teach him to know right from wrong without hiding him from the bad, trust him to make mature decisions without forbidding him from experimenting, but how can I do that? How can I be my child's friend without being his equal? How can I see him doing wrong, but hold my tongue and trust that I have given him the right skills to know his path back to the right? Its a pretty scary thing! And maybe our parents shouldnt be our only source of info...seriously, if you wanted to be a parent tomorrow or even in 10 years, how would you know where to start?

My New Favourite Quote

On a boring Thursday night, I watched a movie called "Last Kiss" and right in the middle I heard these few lines:

"Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. It means nothing. It still doesn't mean anything. What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts."

Ok, let me set the scene for you. This man has had a girlfriend for 3 years, and they are having a baby together. But the man freaks out about growing up all of a sudden so has a fling with a uni student whom he doesnt really care about. So, of course, his gf find outs, kicks him out of the house, then moves in with her parents. The bf then keeps trying to tell her the normal "she meant nothing, she reminded me of how much I love you, I'm sorry, etc etc etc". So he goes over to her parents' house, she refuses to see him, and he ends up talking to her dad telling him "but I love her!" which angers the dad so much that he says those lines up there. It is true, that when we suddenly wake up to realize how much we love someone, whether its a friend, lover, or family member, it feels overwhelming and we just feel like oh my God! Since I'm feeling all of these intense feelings the person I love MUST realize it, must forgive me, must stay, must somehow reward me for feeling them...when actually that big overwhelming feeling ONLY matters to us; it makes US feel awesome. Saying "I love you" makes US feel really good, of course the people we love like to hear it, and like to hear it ALOT hehe, but would love it more if they see it in what we do with and for them. It was a nice few lines to remind me of what's important...how for example your precious moments with people tend to be more about actions rather than words. I personally am a totally word lover haha, would keep letters, emails, smses, and just love HEARING nice things, but in actual fact would feel them more with actions and that's what gives a person peace :)

Nice sharing with ya on this boring yet interesting thursday evening...now I'm off to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Cinnabon Thursday!

Don't you just love the days where everyone at work seems to be kinda free, but super tired, so just turn insanely hyper? And you are sooo in that mood as well! That was last Thursday at the office. The people you are usually too busy to hang out with since you have loads of briefs to finish, clients to communicate with, and documentation to do, suddenly become your best buddies and family when you are dead tired and in need to totally let loose! So, I waltzed into the big account management room to find everyone fighting over Cinnabons! So I joined in, and it turned into a hilarious 15-20 mins of just cutting up Cinnabons into many pieces for everyone to eat, and people just laughing for no apparent reason :) Here's to more hyper, let loose moments like those...I so miss them! Used to have ALOT more of them during uni times ;)

Eat Pray Love

Since I spent the entire day on the television, I managed to catch Oprah. I hadn't watched her show in forever coz I kinda forgot when its usually on, and always prefer to watch MTV when I have 30mins free to watch TV. Anyway, she had this woman on the show who sorta lost who she was. Woke up to find herself married to a man whom even though she loved, she sorta married without really being sure she wanted to marry HIM. So anyway, she leaves him and goes on this journey of self discovery to try and get in touch with herself again. On the way she wrote this book called "eat pray love" about her journey to find herself. Even though the show did have its cliche moments, she did say a couple of insightful things like there is such an answer as "I dont know". You dont have to feel cornered into saying "yes" or "no". Say you dont know, and its fine to not know for a long time. Keep saying to the person with you that you dont know till you DO know. If he/she doesnt stick around till you do know, then its their problem not yours.
Another thing she said was try to have your alone time; time to spend with yourself evaluating who you are and your purpose in life. She made a very valid point that nowadays, its like God forbid you are EVER left alone! That even in elevators you find TVs! Its like you cant stand being with yourself for the few minutes you spend in an elevator every day! And its so true...if I ever need alone time people assume I am upset, or something's bothering me! We really do live in a world now where being by yourself is just odd and causes anxiety.
Plus she got advised on one of her trips to just sit and smile; to smile till even her liver was smiling! It makes a huge difference; changes your outlook on everything.
To go through the personal journey she went through without having to go all the way to India and Rome like she did, she said you should do 3 things on a daily basis:
1. Ask yourself every morning "what do I really really really want?" and the answer cant be "happiness"...really really REALLY want!
2. Write your happiest moment of the day. It can be as simple as the sun shining through your window as you worked. With time you'll notice a pattern of what makes you happy.
3. Change your mantra. And what she meant by that is that certain people keep saying "im a loser, im a bum, etc" if that's your mantra, then that's what you'll be.
The rest of the show talked about Yoga, the other things she did in Rome and India, meeting the love of her life along the way, and much more but the above points are the ones that really hit home.

Songs: Apologize by Timbaland Ft. One Republic & The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice

This time I have 2 songs that have been playing over and over in my mind this week. First is "Apologize" which is just awesome! I think its stuck in everyone's head now! Then we have "The Blower's Daughter" which is a song that you'll definately find familiar because it was on the "Closer" soundtrack and has been used in many shows and movies ever since. Enjoy both the lyrics, and the videos which I have added the links to ;)

Apologize
I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

that it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothing new - yeah
I loved you with the a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
I'm sorry like an angel
heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late whoaa ohhh...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet... off the ground...

The Blower's Daughter
And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new

Dealing with things late...

This is a habit of mine which I am quite conscious of and quite unable to shake off. Dealing with things very very late...especially if they are things that have saddened or hurt me. I find myself waking up in the middle of the night upset about things that have long passed. Or remember things that I have long forgiven and thought I had forgotten. And just by pure coincedence, this habit was the topic of discussion between 2 of my friends yesterday, with me just listening in, and it was also the topic of discussion with my colleague at work this morning. You MUST deal with things WHEN they happen...if you keep pushing it to the back of your mind or piling other stuff on top of it, it'll eventually explode, or slowly slowly trickle back into your life. It can be triggered at any time. And this is a habit I need to LOSE! Learn to be sad when you are sad, and stop trying so hard to hold back the tears. Take it from me, its healthier!

Mike & Melody just welcomed a baby girl!

When I was in Canada, I got to know Melody Song, a Chinese girl who had moved to Canada to be with her boyfriend Mike, and whom, just like me, was kinda forced by circumstance to move to Canada. She loved China big time, and didnt wish to leave, but missed her boyfriend too much. I loved my life in Egypt, and was so proud that I had finally gotten into the Business school in AUC so I too felt that it was a stupid move to leave that behind for Canada at that point. So we had quite alot in common in that sense so we bonded pretty quickly. I remember how we used to talk about alot of our differences, culture-wise especially, and they were the most interesting conversations I had had in quite a while. Then I met her bf Mike, and we spent a weekend together at Mike's parents house, and wow that was an experience! Eating noodles for breakfast, helping them make dumplings for dinner, it was just cool! Had to explain why I couldn't have wine with my food, and they had to explain how healthy their food was in comparison to what "those North Americans" were eating hehe. Well, Mike and Melody eventually married, and I lost touch with them for the past year or 2 and today, SURPRISE, found photos of their baby girl in my inbox! She's the cutest thing I have ever seen! It just reminded me of how much can happen in just a couple of years ;) CONGRATS MIKE & MELODY!

I couldn't have put it better myself

I used to always have these arguments with Hazem about what makes a song good! Even though him and I had extremely similar tastes in music, we used to love the same songs for very different reasons; he focuses on the melody and I definately focus on the lyrics. In the last few days, a friend of mine (Sameh), whom I actually do not know very well (we actually make fun of the fact that we only see each other at weddings and occassions!), was sending me two songs that were very unknown and I absolutely LOVED them. When I asked him why he sent me those two songs in particular, all he could say was that he just had a hunch that I'd like them, especially that I am "the type that can really get touched by a good song. It just really hits you how much meaning and clarity there could be in one song". My jaw dropped! I couldn't have put it better myself. And he went on to predict more about me which was just so amazingly accurate! For example, he asked me "do u play the same song sometimes over and over, because u feel it just matches ur mood? and then maybe a week later, it just no longer a fit and u move on to a new song?". Again, my jaw just dropped! Where's Hazem now so that I can finally explain WHY lyrics mean more to me than the melody! I just get so impressed by how artists can really express an inner feeling you have so verbally. How they choose the correct words, how the melody expresses the unsaid, it just all fascinates me. I love how a song can just really move me, and I just feel the emotions behind the words all through my body, and its because of the CHOICE of words. So there you have it guys, there is alot more to WHY I post the lyrics of certain songs rather than others at a particular time; its coz at that time, that song expresses everything IN me that I cant seem to express. Look at little deeper ;) Bravo Sameh!