Why do you doubt the things that you know?

The thing that makes me incredibly angry is when someone sees me in a shockingly negative way. Nothing hurts me as much as that; when I made to feel like I am an extremely inconsiderate person. The reason that hurts me the most is because I put a lot of effort into NOT being those things so when you find someone who supposedly knows you very well think that you would hurt them intentionally, its like how could you think that about me?! I am sweet and kind yes, but I do not have a hidden agenda. Think that I am naive, think that I am stupidly sweet, think whatever you want of me but never think that I am sneaky, or unappreciative. Its degrading to me to even have someone imply that. Why cant people just accept the good in others? Why does there always have to be a hidden agenda or personal gain behind it?

My Annual Ramadan Dish Party

Last saturday I had my annual ramadan dish party and it was exactly what I needed! Absolutely everybody on the list came, except for 2 people, and this year it was all about the food, hardly any desserts, which is very different from last year. Its interesting how every year the food combination changes. Last year, we had way too many desserts and not enough meat, and this year it was all about the meat and only 2 plates of dessert! Its funny how that happens. Like the food combination, the people combination changes every year as well. I always like to take a moment in each year's gathering to just look at the people who are there. It gives me a chance to feel grateful for the old faces that are still as close as ever, and the new faces whom I've had the pleasure of getting to know. Of course you also miss certain faces whom you wish could be there but every year I feel a new sense of belonging and togetherness that I miss during the year sometimes. I absolutely LOVED this year's dish party because it involved my closest friends only, alot of which all got to know each other throughout this year either through birthday gatherings, random outings, or travels. I have always had this want to connect all the people I know to each other. I WANT all my friends to know each other just coz alot of them are just so awesome! So this year it was cool to see them all mixing so easily and to find that they like each other alot. It gave a sense of togetherness this year like no other year. Also, I got to spend alot more time with the people this year. We played Charades and Pictionary all together, chatted, took photos, and even later went for sheesha at 10pm. I was happy to see that people really didn't want to go home! They were sincerly enjoying their time! I laughed like I hadn't laughed in quite a while, and felt really connected to the people I had missed dearly. It was a nice feeling and one that, with work, doesn't happen as much as it used to. Its hard to explain WHY I feel extremely happy when I find all my friends mixing together even when they dont know each other very well, but it just brings a new sense of togetherness and newness that you sometimes need to see and feel. It brings out the best in everyone, and makes you proud to call these people your friends :)

Does Watching Too Many Movies Numb Our Emotions?

I had this pretty interesting conversation with my mum about the effects of watching too much TV and how that affects people in reality. I found it such an enlightening conversation because at some point I was feeling that certain things in life didn't effect me emotionally as they used to, and I always thought that was part of growing up. It probably is, but the chat with my mum gave me another side to the story. We were discussing how nowadays you hear alot of stories of kids killing their parents, or students shooting school mates and teachers, or husbands killing their pregnant wives, etc. Its as if when anyone wakes up in the morning annoyed by someone, they just kill them, problem solved. The whole gravity of taking a life doesn't seem to be that drastic anymore. Its as if people got used to it, "whatever, so he died, so I lost my temper, so I got bored of hearing him whining and just wanted to make him shut up, so what?". Its as if we don't realize anymore that this is a LIFE we are talking about, and that killing is putting an end to someone's existence. I have even noticed myself not realizing the meaning of DEATH. You hear it on the news all the time; "100 people died in Iraq" or "a natural disastor took the life of thousands of people", that you automatically become immune to the effect the word "death" has on you. Plus you watch movies and dramas all the time with people dying, bleeding, turning into zombies, and even as a member of the audience you sit there demanding things to be gorrier, more dramatic, more death. You want more so you can get to the same effect you used to get with just one death. So when did one death in a movie become so unmoving that you needed more? When did 100 people dying in a bomb become unemotional that we know need to hear of thousands to shed a tear? When did blood become so easy on the eyes?

I hate the streets!

I am fuming! I hate the streets! Really I do! I give up! I turn into an angry mad woman in the street, yelling left and right, and then getting to the office or to my house with the worse headache and the worse mood in the world. Who raised these people to believe that bothering others is fun or even ok??

Song: (You Want to) Make a Memory by Bon Jovi

Bon Jovi's back! I love how this band never seems to dissappear and that they can still do great songs. They were such a huge part of my teenager years, and even beyond that. I still sing their songs to myself, listen to them really loud when I wanna release some energy, and keep an eye open for their next hit to add to the collection. Here's their recent one which I like...they're back to their way of emotionally moving me. Of course it doesnt even come close to "Bed of Roses" or "Always" but its still a sweet one that touches on their classics.

Hello again, it's you and me
Kinda always like it used to be
Sippin' wine, killing time
Trying to solve life's mysteries

How's your life, it's been a while
God it's good to see you smile
I see you reaching for your keys
Looking for a reason not to leave

If you don't know if you should stay
If you don't say what's on your mind
Baby just breathe
There's nowhere else tonight we should be

You wanna make a memory?

I dug up this old photograph
Look at all that hair we had.
It's bittersweet to hear you laugh
Your phone is ringing I don't wanna ask

If you go now, I'll understand
If you stay, hey, I've got a plan
We're gonna make a memory
You wanna steal a piece of time
You can sing the melody to me
And I can write a couple of lines

You wanna make a memory?

If you don't know if you should stay
And you don't say what's on your mind
Baby just breathe
There's nowhere else tonight we should be
We Should be

You wanna make a memory
You wanna steal a piece of time
You can sing the melody to me
And I can write a couple of lines

You wanna make a memory? (x2)

Fell in love with Basata all over again

I finally was able to see a chance of taking some time off from work so decided to join a few friends to go to my favourite place in the world Basata. It was the fasted trip I had ever planned and ALOT of people ended up going in! Every day we had new people arriving and more people to hang out with which is always an added plus in Basata. We had all the basica covered: water mattresses and rings, check. Board games, check check check. Food for the nights where we have the energy to cook, check. Good music, check. Good company some of which you don't know very well, check. The best combination for basata is to go with a big group of people who are NOT your close friends because you get to mingle more, get to know each other, and it makes the trip more interesting. You get to see the little cute perks in everyone that you may not get to see anywhere else. Plus we had Tamer, God bless him, getting all sorts of water gadgets to use which we spent quite some time as a group pumping up! But especially that round water mattress made the trip jump up to another level! So much fun! Then we had Hazem getting his snorkel as well which I ended up using which introduced me to a side of Basata I hadn't seen before. The fish were diverse and colorful. We even managed to witness a school of fish jumping in the water. The great thing about basata is you can enjoy it with friends or even by yourself. Taking the water mattress out into the ocean by yourself and listening to the silence is amazing. Taking a walk by the beach at night with only the moonlight guiding your way is amazing. Sitting in the little island in the sea that's created around midday and staring out into the sparkling water is amazing. Reading, painting, sleeping, swimming...all just relaxes you and takes you away from your busy life back in Cairo. Then cooking with the gang is fun, playing board games at night and having other basata guests joining in is fun, socializing with the basata staff is fun too. There you are free to choose to be on your own for a while or with friends because you literally can do both with no strings attached and everyone respects it. There's a freedom to walking bare foot all the time, having no noise disturbing your thoughts, and having no ugliness surrounding you. Getting back to basics and having everyone doing the same reminds you of the humbleness of humanity and reminds you to stop and just be amazed by everything around you. You see it in yourself as you socialize with people you dont know, have real conversations with the staff, and in how bad you feel leaving the place. The hardest part is when you pack and remember "oh crap I now need to wear pants, sneakers and a t-shirt" and the second you get back to your busy life, the layers of responsibilities and obligations fall on you and you lose that humane part of you under it all again. Basata is a nice place to reconnect with yourself, with your surrounding environment, and with life.