Disturbing...

The recent murders in 6th October district has gotten me quite nervous...how could this happen here? I'm so down for the girls' families...maybe not everyone deserves to be trusted...

Aging

One could describe aging in many different ways. One could see it as the slow deterioration of a person's life; the young always have more fun. One could see it as the long awaited calming of the storm where you know who you are and the confusions of life become non-existent. One could see it as the accumulation of experiences; you find less and less things to do for "the very first time".

I have often thought of what my view would be and I would find that it would always be associated with panic. I worry that its always NOW that you must be beautiful, must do the correct career move, must do masters, must travel, because later you'll be older and you wont be able to. I should be fit NOW because I could never be as beautiful as I could be today. I should study NOW because later I may be in a relationship where I wouldn't want to leave my love behind. I should travel on this trip abroad NOW even if I dont have the money because it'll get harder and harder to get the people together as we get older.

At the same time, I cant wait till I have had enough experiences to be truely confident in who I am so that I am less confused. Imagine where you are so at peace with yourself that you become more predictable, with more people understanding you, and you have less explaining to do. Your next step in life is clearer and things are just...calm. Its an inner bliss that I cant wait to have but at the same time am afraid to gain at the expense of more excitement and activity.

From time to time ask yourself what aging must mean to you because it may change your view on what your life's about and what it SHOULD be about.

Mamma Mia!

I have been wanting to go to the Broadway show "Mamma Mia!" forever! I kept saying that I probably shouldn't watch the movie so it doesn't ruin the show for me...but who am I kidding? I'd always get out of anything that had anything to do with ABBA with a huge sincere smile on my face. And that's exactly what happened after watching Mamma Mia. I went in, and came out on top of the world :)ABBA songs have such simple lyrics that really hit home and cause such an overload of emotion whether happiness or sadness. You're probably asking yourself "sadness?! When are ABBA ever sad?". Well, let me introduce you to one of their best songs that manages to make me cry my eyes out no matter how many times I hear it...and it made me cry in the theater even though it was Meryl Streep singing to Pierce Brosnan which was odd hehe. Its called "The Winner Takes it All" and the lyrics, simple again but hit the right chords, are:

I don't wanna talk
About things we've gone through
Though its hurting me
Now its history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser's standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
Its simple and its plain
Why should I complain.

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I don't wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all...

Thanks to a special friend for taking me to the movie :) And this song is dedicated to you my friend ;) (ya rab tit7ifiz ya rab! Coz I wont help you memorize it again hehehe)

Mamma Mia!

I've been cheated by you since I don't know when.
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end
Look at me now, will I ever learn
I don't know how, but I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my soul
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything.

Ooooh Ooooh,
Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you
Mamma mia, does it show again
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go
Mamma mia, now I really know
My my, I COULD NEVER let you go

I've been angry and sad about things that you do
I can't count all the times that I've told you we're through
And when you go, when you slam the door
I think you know that you won't be away too long
You know that I'm not that strong
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything

Ooooh Ooooh,
Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you
Mamma mia, does it show again
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go
Mamma mia, even if I say
Bye bye, leave me now or never
Mamma mia, its a game we play
Bye bye, doesn't mean forever

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you
Mamma mia, does it show again
My my, just how much I've missed you

Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why why, did I ever let you go
Mamma mia, now I really know
My my, I could never let you go

The Secret...is it really?

I've been hearing so much about this book "The Secret" and thought "ok another self-help book that is so big like 7 habits but that I will find so boring!". I ended up reading it since so many people were praising it so much that my curiosity got the better of me. To my surprise, I was right! It was an easy read but never has a book taken me so long to finish. To me, it didnt say anything new. Think positively and you'll get positivity, think negatively, and you'll get negativity. Hmmm...ok. Want a car? Just really think it, and you'll get it, somehow some way...Hmmm, really? Some thoughts were new and interesting but they were embedded in the middle of alot of repetitive paragraphs all saying the same thing. The writer was OVER selling the whole concept to a point that it wasn't very believable. I was struggling to find a new anything in between the constant explanations of the exact same argument. So would I recommend it...well read the summaries given for each chapter (yes, even after all the repeating during the chapter, it just had to be summarized AGAIN at the end) and you'll get the main tips and tricks :) I am sure that if anyone lives by "the secret" they will definately have a happier and more fulfilling life, but I just dont think of it as a "secret" really...been there done that

Surge of Energy

Out of days of many days of boredom and laziness, came this sudden surge of energy! Must put it to good use! I have many ideas, and all are feasible...but not feasible THIS SECOND...hmmm what is a girl to do?

My Love Affair with Batman

Recently I had a discussion with a friend about superheros, and which ones were our favorites. It started as a light chat to pass the time on the beach but it soon turned into a pretty enlightening discussion. Since I was a kid, no movie has struck me emotionally and caught my attention as much as Batman 1 and 2 did. Till today I remember the goosebumps I felt when Batman went into The Penguin's cave and how seeing Batman didn't bring the YAY reaction from me as Superman would. Instead his presence made me silent and intrigued. So my friend kept asking why Batman? My answer to that was always because he was more human than all the other superheros. He's a deep dark person with complexities. He is mysterious, with a lot of layers to discover. I just was attracted to that. Why would I do that to myself, I don't really know...but there it is...I am insane! And like complex people who don't necessarily fit your definition of "normal". Oh well, maybe life will teach me to start liking Superman instead...wouldn't that be a drag?

Standing outside and looking in...

Did you ever feel like you wanted to step out of your skin and watch yourself? Just to see if you are who you really think you are? To see if you want to re-evaluate your life? Remember again what's important and what's not? I'd like to think that I know all the answers but maybe I don't...too many people, memories, emotions, and familiar surroundings get in the way sometimes so you forget what you found to be really important in life...