Selfish or Selfless?
I have been hearing those 2 words alot lately and hearing them with both negative and positive connotations, and sometimes even in the same conversation! So what do these 2 words really mean:
Selfish - its an adjective which means devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others. Its being concerned chiefly or only with yourself and your advantage to the exclusion of others.
Selfless - its an adjective which means having little or no concern for oneself, especially with regard to fame, position, money, etc. Its being unselfish. Its being devoted to others' welfare or interest and not one's own. Its showing unselfish concern for the welfare of others.
Do any of us have to be one or the other? Both seem to be 2 extremes that we should not be at all times. Of course alot of us may be leaning towards one of them more than the other but I do believe both traits exist in all of us but it depends on when they come out.
For example, you NEED to be selfless to have children, to be in a relationship, and even to be part of a friendship. Can you imagine being in a relationship and thinking only of yourself? It cant happen! When you truely love someone you do become selfless. All you care about is their well-being more than your own and when you hear someone try to tell you otherwise you get mad and confused.
As for being selfish, you have to be selfish sometimes too. Part of the reason why we are in a friendship, in a relationship, in a certain job, is because we get something out of it which makes us happy. Everything that involves 2 people has to include giving and taking...it doesnt mean it has to be 50/50 every day. You can be giving alot for some time then taking alot in another but there has to be a balance in the long run so that both of you are happy.
It helps to know that when you are in the selfish mood, the person in front of you allows you to be so and doesnt judge you for it. And vice versa, when you are selfless, its nice to know that someone appreciates it.
I have been described over the years as being someone who gives too much, as someone who is TOO selfless, and as someone who needs to be more selfish. But even though I do agree sometimes with that analysis I also know that its not true. I do get pretty selfish at times and when I do get selfish, I am selfish to an extreme. Its to an extreme usually coz I feel I have been selfless for too long, so world you owe me one! So I'm just going to be super selfish today to make up for it! This selfish streak doesnt last for too long because it doesnt make me happy except for a few moments but it has been happening more frequently as I have gotten older and perhaps less naive. The more you see in the world the less selfless you can be but I still maintain that it feels so much better to be selfless than to be selfish. At the same time, I agree that you cannot be one or the other all the time.
Selfish - its an adjective which means devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others. Its being concerned chiefly or only with yourself and your advantage to the exclusion of others.
Selfless - its an adjective which means having little or no concern for oneself, especially with regard to fame, position, money, etc. Its being unselfish. Its being devoted to others' welfare or interest and not one's own. Its showing unselfish concern for the welfare of others.
Do any of us have to be one or the other? Both seem to be 2 extremes that we should not be at all times. Of course alot of us may be leaning towards one of them more than the other but I do believe both traits exist in all of us but it depends on when they come out.
For example, you NEED to be selfless to have children, to be in a relationship, and even to be part of a friendship. Can you imagine being in a relationship and thinking only of yourself? It cant happen! When you truely love someone you do become selfless. All you care about is their well-being more than your own and when you hear someone try to tell you otherwise you get mad and confused.
As for being selfish, you have to be selfish sometimes too. Part of the reason why we are in a friendship, in a relationship, in a certain job, is because we get something out of it which makes us happy. Everything that involves 2 people has to include giving and taking...it doesnt mean it has to be 50/50 every day. You can be giving alot for some time then taking alot in another but there has to be a balance in the long run so that both of you are happy.
It helps to know that when you are in the selfish mood, the person in front of you allows you to be so and doesnt judge you for it. And vice versa, when you are selfless, its nice to know that someone appreciates it.
I have been described over the years as being someone who gives too much, as someone who is TOO selfless, and as someone who needs to be more selfish. But even though I do agree sometimes with that analysis I also know that its not true. I do get pretty selfish at times and when I do get selfish, I am selfish to an extreme. Its to an extreme usually coz I feel I have been selfless for too long, so world you owe me one! So I'm just going to be super selfish today to make up for it! This selfish streak doesnt last for too long because it doesnt make me happy except for a few moments but it has been happening more frequently as I have gotten older and perhaps less naive. The more you see in the world the less selfless you can be but I still maintain that it feels so much better to be selfless than to be selfish. At the same time, I agree that you cannot be one or the other all the time.
posted by Mai Daoud @ 12:01 AM
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