Weird thought...I'm feeling "dispersed"...what the hell does that mean?

You know how sometimes you find yourself thinking way too much that you confuse yourself and if anyone asks you "who are you?" at that moment, you really wouldnt know how to answer him/her? I'm in that mood now and it drives me insane! I cant seem to stop myself...I started thinking about how much I love feeling connected to people but then at the same time connecting to too many people makes me feel like I have spread myself too thin that a small part of me is with too many people that I feel really dispersed! I used to always have just 2 people whom I told absolutely everything to on a daily basis that usually I felt very whole and centered. Its good to have people involved fully in your life that if you refer to something in the past they would remember it and continue with you on your wave length. Now, for some reason, I panic because sometimes the people in my life now are not really available all the time so you find me sharing with whomever would listen...not that anything is really wrong with that but I miss the feeling of feeling whole. Of having someone there who knows exactly what I am feeling, doing, at any time. Like, usually if people couldnt find lina for example or didnt know how she was, they'd call me and I could tell them, and vice versa. I miss that feeling so much! And I hate feeling like I am dispersed everywhere, so prefer calling that one or two persons whenever anything happens or when anything pops into my mind that I want to share...such a weird thought though isnt it? Feeling scared and panicky because you feel like you are all over the place...because you feel there isnt that one person who is so free whom you can call whenever ANYTHING happens during the day, as if you couldnt figure things out on your own! Such a strange thought, really...