Emotional Rollercoaster

MIS was emotional for me...I watched the people I loved feel so upset that this was their last AIESEC conference...they saw it as the last time they'd be there to inspire and learn...I felt for them and found myself slowly succumbing to my own tears and my own saddness...I was shaking inside but for reasons that could only be my own and could not be shared with others coz their were no others who felt the same...what I found myself crying about was for all the years I seemed to have wasted, the years where I could have been sharing this experience with these same people who were now leaving. I found myself wanting the years to go back so I could grow with these specific people, see where I could have ended up because I am so proud of where THEY have ended up. I was also crying because I simply did not want these people to go! They are AIESEC for me...I didnt want to do the role calls, the dances, the conferences without them and it was hard seeing them feeling so lost. I felt all these emotions much earlier than MIS...its what made me NEED to go to the conference because I wanted to share this last memory with them...I wanted to be there to celebrate their work, their passion, and to simply be with them in a conference for the last time. Just imagine what would have happened if I had joined when Tamer told me to years ago? What relationships would I have had with the people I adore so much now? Would I have become more of the person that I really want to be? That last point is actually the most important to me...for me AIESEC was never about the leadership positions alone...it was always about allowing the greater self in me to come out...it was a place where I could be the person I really wanted to be...its a place where you can really reach your highest potential and I just felt that I had only just started scratching the surface of who I can be after my Faci experience...so to see MIS close the AIESEC chapter for so many of the people whom got me into AIESEC and whom have kept me in AIESEC all this time all of a sudden shook me and made me realize all that I may have lost...I've already been working for almost a year...too late now to start feeling this way about what I can do in this organization in the long run...I hate the fact that all I am seeing at this second is the bad...but today all the bad came pouring in and convincing myself of the good just wasnt working for me today...