Are We Breeding Women Haters?
Ok, I'm a woman who considers herself lucky to be living in Egypt out of all the countries in the Middle East. I consider it a country that in some ways does give women certain rights...rights to an education, rights to work, rights to drive, etc. Or at least that is what I try to make myself believe...the fact of the matter is, Egypt, though permitting the basic rights for women like I mentioned above, treats women unfairly in a very implicit way. From the outside you wonder why would we, women, ever complain, but when you dig now, you notice a lot of very disturbing occurrences that just leave you wondering...what the hell are they thinking?!
Lets ignore my experiences for now, and lets focus on what we read in the papers shall we. My mum has a habit of telling me these stories every morning on my way to work, that just goes to show you how many stories there really are. Lets start with husbands who kill their wives because they're jealous that their wives love their kids more than them. How about husbands who kill their wives because they got home from work and the food wasn't ready? Or how about this shocker...a 19 year old girl being robbed of her virginity by her aunt in the middle of the street for refusing to marry her son (i.e. the girl's cousin)...and to make matters worse, when the 19 year old pressed charges, she got pressured by her family to drop the charges to "avoid further embarrassment"...WTF! Can you imagine refusing to marry your cousin, and having your AUNT stick her finger up your pubic area right in the middle of the street just coz you refused! YOUR AUNT! A woman, a relative, a trusted member of your circle...what could possibly breed such behavior? Who could have even thought that such behavior could happen in your wildest dreams?!
I was left outraged, shocked, and completely disturbed by that incident.
Being in a country that is male dominated, and not developed was definitely not the root cause of any of the above. I mean the behavior has stopped coming just from males towards females, and all the reasons for the above have nothing to do with money or wealth. I see it as being this underlining teachings happening right under our noses that breed women haters in all of us living here.
People are taught to punish women just for being women. Its that simple. Women are not meant to roam the streets so you know what, harass them! Women should not be driving, especially not at night, so you know what, try to open their doors, stalk them, have some fun at their expense...they shouldn't be there anyway. Women shouldn't be career driven, so you know what, once you marry them make sure they understand that their main purpose in life is to cater to your every need...bear you as many kids as you desire, make sure those kids don't give you a headache whenever you're home, make sure the food on the table is warm and ready the moment you walk through the door...how will you ever find the time to work baby? I support you enough to allow you the time to cater to my every need...and you know what, that's what you're useful for. Oh...and the best part. If after 30 years of marriage he decides to divorce you, you're left with NOTHING...not to mention that he can divorce you by just saying it, while you have to prove infidelity, or infertility, or other things if you want out.
We are breeding women haters...explain it to me any other way if you have any other explanation. But to me, someone who would humiliate a 19 year old like that, or shoot a woman coz they didn't get food in time, or because she loved her kids, is just someone who has utterly NO respect for that woman as a human being. Doesn't even see her as an equal. Sees her as something of no value...its sad, and its enough to make my blood boil. And I'm sorry to say that we are all influenced by it, even in the tiniest sense. How many of us judge a girl coz she goes home past a certain hour? How many of us judge a girl by the places she goes out in? How many of us judge a girl by how ambitious she is at work? How about what she's wearing? How many males she knows? Whether she dates or doesn't? And how many of us judge a couple just because of how the man allows the woman to be who she is, to continue working, to have a say?
Just stop and think of what we are breeding...how our actions are influencing the people around us, our children, our partners. How these same judgments on women have actually no basis neither in religion nor in our traditions...where did you, or me, or anyone else get the idea that marrying a woman meant owning her and doing as you pleased with her? What gave you the idea that a woman can't and should not have the same right to choice as anyone else does? Does she breathe different air? Eat something else maybe? WHAT IS IT THAT MAKES THIS BEHAVIOR OK?! I really DEMAND to know!
Lets ignore my experiences for now, and lets focus on what we read in the papers shall we. My mum has a habit of telling me these stories every morning on my way to work, that just goes to show you how many stories there really are. Lets start with husbands who kill their wives because they're jealous that their wives love their kids more than them. How about husbands who kill their wives because they got home from work and the food wasn't ready? Or how about this shocker...a 19 year old girl being robbed of her virginity by her aunt in the middle of the street for refusing to marry her son (i.e. the girl's cousin)...and to make matters worse, when the 19 year old pressed charges, she got pressured by her family to drop the charges to "avoid further embarrassment"...WTF! Can you imagine refusing to marry your cousin, and having your AUNT stick her finger up your pubic area right in the middle of the street just coz you refused! YOUR AUNT! A woman, a relative, a trusted member of your circle...what could possibly breed such behavior? Who could have even thought that such behavior could happen in your wildest dreams?!
I was left outraged, shocked, and completely disturbed by that incident.
Being in a country that is male dominated, and not developed was definitely not the root cause of any of the above. I mean the behavior has stopped coming just from males towards females, and all the reasons for the above have nothing to do with money or wealth. I see it as being this underlining teachings happening right under our noses that breed women haters in all of us living here.
People are taught to punish women just for being women. Its that simple. Women are not meant to roam the streets so you know what, harass them! Women should not be driving, especially not at night, so you know what, try to open their doors, stalk them, have some fun at their expense...they shouldn't be there anyway. Women shouldn't be career driven, so you know what, once you marry them make sure they understand that their main purpose in life is to cater to your every need...bear you as many kids as you desire, make sure those kids don't give you a headache whenever you're home, make sure the food on the table is warm and ready the moment you walk through the door...how will you ever find the time to work baby? I support you enough to allow you the time to cater to my every need...and you know what, that's what you're useful for. Oh...and the best part. If after 30 years of marriage he decides to divorce you, you're left with NOTHING...not to mention that he can divorce you by just saying it, while you have to prove infidelity, or infertility, or other things if you want out.
We are breeding women haters...explain it to me any other way if you have any other explanation. But to me, someone who would humiliate a 19 year old like that, or shoot a woman coz they didn't get food in time, or because she loved her kids, is just someone who has utterly NO respect for that woman as a human being. Doesn't even see her as an equal. Sees her as something of no value...its sad, and its enough to make my blood boil. And I'm sorry to say that we are all influenced by it, even in the tiniest sense. How many of us judge a girl coz she goes home past a certain hour? How many of us judge a girl by the places she goes out in? How many of us judge a girl by how ambitious she is at work? How about what she's wearing? How many males she knows? Whether she dates or doesn't? And how many of us judge a couple just because of how the man allows the woman to be who she is, to continue working, to have a say?
Just stop and think of what we are breeding...how our actions are influencing the people around us, our children, our partners. How these same judgments on women have actually no basis neither in religion nor in our traditions...where did you, or me, or anyone else get the idea that marrying a woman meant owning her and doing as you pleased with her? What gave you the idea that a woman can't and should not have the same right to choice as anyone else does? Does she breathe different air? Eat something else maybe? WHAT IS IT THAT MAKES THIS BEHAVIOR OK?! I really DEMAND to know!
posted by Mai Daoud @ 11:09 PM
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